Recognizing one's soul mate depends on sensing the shared soul-root. This is the most fundamental type of insight there is.
Normally, love is born in the heart only after the initial, seminal flash of insight has, through deliberate meditation, ripened in the womb of the mind into a fully-developed idea and been assimilated into one's world view. Just as physical pregnancy requires time, so does this process, for the mentality that prevailed prior to the introduction of the new insight must come to grips with it. Since the mind and its thought-patterns are not fully refined and rectified, the introduction of a new element of truth requires that the previous mental structure be entirely re-evaluated and reconstructed in its light, and this takes time.
Finding One's Soul Mate
Although finding one's soul mate and relating to her as such is no simple matter, there are propitious times for identifying her (i.e., "remembering" her in their common soul-root).
The first of these is Rosh HaShanah, the first day of the Jewish year. Adam and Eve were created on Rosh HaShanah; our sages teach us that they were created as 20-year-olds (Bereishit Rabbah 14:7). On the day they were created, G-d brought them to the garden of Eden, which He had prepared as an extended wedding canopy. Rosh HaShanah is thus both man's birthday and his wedding anniversary.
We refer to Rosh HaShanah in our prayers as Yom HaZikaron , which is commonly translated "the Day of Remembrance," but which more literally means "the Day of Memory." Rosh HaShanah is the day of judgment. G-d not only remembers us by judging us as we are in this world but also remembers us as we were before our souls descended into our bodies, when they were "an actual part of G-d above." This arouses His mercy over us, since our souls have descended from such a height to such depths.
Inasmuch as the world is continuously being created and sustained from G-d's consciousness, on Rosh HaShanah a Jew is also able to remember (i.e., sense) his origin in G-d's infinite light. This origin is the common soul-root he shares with his spouse.
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This implies, as well, that the most important criterion for choosing one's soul mate (i.e., that which most identifies, albeit indirectly, the possession of a common soul-root), is: do we strive in the same way to realize the same ideals? The prospective partners should simply look for a general sense of mutual affinity and attraction, together with shared ideals and goals in life. When they discuss the common future they envision building, or their common ideals and objectives in life, each should become excited about what the other says.
"Oneness" in their past, present, and future is thus what defines a truly predestined (bashert) couple. They share a common soul-root (their past), common goals (their future), and always (in the present) remember their common origin as they proceed toward their common goal.
Where is the Woman of my Dreams?
Q:
I am in my late thirties and still single. I have met dozens of women, but none are right for me. I know what you are going to say: I am too fussy. But I can't just settle on something half good. Where is the woman of my dreams?
A:
It doesn't make sense. You are a wonderful person with so much to offer. Why are you still alone? ... There could be many reasons why someone may find it hard to find a partner. But I think in your case, the answer is simple. You're married already. You are not available, because you are involved in a longstanding intimate relationship with an imaginary Ms. Perfect. You have an exact picture in your mind of the perfect woman, and you are so in love with that picture, that you are not open to anyone else. No matter how great the girl is, she can't compare to your dream.
Why Are All the Good Husbands Already Taken?
Q:
Here is the dating paradox: Why are all the good guys already taken? Why are my friends' husbands all such wonderful people, and the guys I meet all seem to be missing something?
A:
It's not that the good guys are taken--it is that a "taken" guy is more desirable. Loving and being loved brings out the best in us. So a guy in a relationship does have something that the available guys are missing--someone to love. ... When we love someone, we are more alive. Our feelings are more vivid, our sensitivity is heightened and our personalities flourish. When we are loved by someone, we feel more confident and free, content and complete.
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Successful dating requires the mind to exercise its judgment in an area which instinctively belongs to the heart. Obviously, the heart, too, must be involved. But the mind blindly following the heart can be a recipe for disaster. Allow yourself to "fall in love," but only after your mind has decided that this could be the right person for you.
SO, CLICK ON THE 40 DAYS GRAPHIC ABOVE
AND START FINDING THAT BASHERTE
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